Childish Behavior

Why must I indulge in childish behavior? I find myself wishing to justify myself to my enemy. Yet why we are enemies I do not know. Maybe it is the yet again downfall of women’s emotions to suppress our predecessors. Two men walk in a room together and immediately bond. Yet two women enter a room they see competition. They at that time begin to size each other up to prove to themselves that they are better than the other. I have been brought up to believe that women and men are equal. Yet if women could master the logic over emotions as men have come to do we could easily be the superior sex. Anyway, now that I have justified my behavior I will expand on with my Education.

At the age of 16 I graduated a private all girls’ high school as “Magna Cum Laude” with a 3.98 GPA. I was then granted a full scholarship from Florida State University for poetry. Which, I had many published from the age of 13 to 16.

At 16 and at a major University a very sheltered girl became a woman. I maintained a very nice GPA of 3.89 and had an Associates degree by 18. I had quite a few minors in college such as pre law, accounting, and psychology. Do you really know what you want to be when you grow up at 18? Well I didn’t. Some people find out who they are by having multiple sexual encounters and much heartbreak. Others find more constructive ways as I did. I chose to take a year away from school to try REAL life and find what direction I was to pursue.

At 18 I knew that an AA degree wouldn’t get me very far so I got my degree as a Nail specialist. I ended up going to Atlanta Georgia so that I could get the Masters in the field thinking maybe one day I would teach it. I went to many Nail shows and was listed in Nail Pro magazine for being one of the top young future Nail artists.

I got heavy into Modeling with big agencies such as Lisa Mailey and John Cassablanca. Where I was a pretty decent model and making about 1000 a day. I bought my first house at 19.

I never did figure out what I wanted to do when I grew up. I knew that I wanted to help people yet every career I decided to try was filled with corruption. I will not risk my virtue for money. “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” 1 Timothy 6:10.

I have always been in some sort of school. Excluding when my children have been from the ages of birth to 2. The first 2 years of a child’s life is the most important to have a parent with them.

Now I am in school again. My daughter is now almost 3 and I have just got my A+ certification. Since I have no scholarship and no mommy and daddy to support me I must take care of my children and work and school. I have been taking classes as to pursue a career in Computer Science.

I will leave this blog with a good note to reflect on. I do not have to lower myself as to call another a name or to prove to the world that I can Have Sex with Multitudes of men. I will live my life from the words of Matthew that Jesus once spoke:

“²For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

³"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.” Matthew 7:2-5