Inspiration

Another day at work.. The good news is that I got holiday pay for 8 hours and 7.5 hours of regular pay. So that sums up to about double time today. That would make about $18.00 an hour. What I find fastinating is that is what most people my age make at a normal rate. I know that with a lot of hard work I will be there. However, a woman in the computer industry I face many challenges. People will either assume I got the position as eye candy or that I have no clue what I am doing. Some people do treat me as an equal but the majority is surprised that I am a woman with a brain. I must admit that I like the shocked looks that come across people’s faces when I teach them something. I wish to constantly pursue an understanding in this field and one day when they want to talk to someone in charge I will have the privilege to say…. That is me.

I do enjoy my new job. We have a lot of fun at work and tease each other to the point of tears. Whether that is a good or bad thing has yet to be figured out. I know this is an entry level position in the field but after being in the beauty industry for 10 years I feel privileged to have the shot. I am working more than I am used to and getting paid less, but I know that in the future this will benefit me. I feel a lot of loyalty to where I work especially when I enjoy the people I work with. So when it is time to move on to something better I will be happy yet feel a great deal of loss.

Fustration

On my day off I will spend about 7 hours cleaning so that when prince charming gets here, He will be happy. I am sitting here contemplating recent decisions that have gone on in my life. As mentioned from the post below, women have an aptitude to see things only the way they choose to see them. I wonder if that is some sort of survival instinct that has been passed on by our suppressed ancestors.

When they say love is blind I realize now that it has many meanings. With any education you will get to a point where you have learned enough to realize there is so much more to learn. You realize at some point that when you think you know it all you really haven’t learned enough to make that decision.

Then if you have made a decision based on the facts as you saw them at the time is it right or normal when new facts have come about to keep that decision? I guess if you look at it from a court of law perspective this would be the layout:

YOU ARE THE JUDGE:

A person was caught stealing. It was their first offense however it was a felony charge. You reduce it to a misdemeanor and they get off with some probation. They realize that it was a close call and decide to change their life. Pursue a much more glorified way of life. Eight months later facts reveal that prior to the one incident they were caught at, there were many more previous to that one, all the same thing. Only that confidence or greed made that person slip enough to get caught. Would you still convict them of the other previous charges and sentence them to life?

Wondering

I wonder why most women obsess over little things. I wonder how we as strong individuals make most of our decisions based on emotion.

How can men so easily base everything on logic? And even when their well thought decision turns out to be wrong they stand by it and accept the conciquences and most of the time their answer is "It is because I am a Man." Yet when women do things they normally wouldn't do when they have drank too much it is never an excuse.

Why are women's viewpoints strongly enfluenced by emotion. We can only see things from one perspective. Ours.

I find myself questioning these things not only based on myself, But from the other women that effect my life. I am growing closer to 30 every day and yet still wish to endulge in childish behavior because of emotion. Is it possible to master the logical way of making decisions as men have come to do and then later say "hey its because I am a woman."?