Unexpected Affair

It hasn’t been that long for me since the breakup. See Below. But I found myself realizing untapped potential. What led to this mysterious chain of events makes this situation even more fascinating.

I was sick barely able to make it through work. My boss tried repeatedly to send me home but my stubbornness demanded me to stay. So I reached out to the ex for some comfort and support. “Will you come over and take care of me?” Now mind you I took care of him when he was sick many times and never have asked him to help me. One incident I drove 45 minutes away out to see him with my daughter at 12:30a.m. Guess what response I got…. “I don’t feel like driving right now” and “I want to sleep in my own bed tonight” (gee thanks) Now my feet hurt, I can’t quit coughing, I am loosing my voice, and my sinuses are hurting so bad I am actually contemplating the emergency room. All I wanted was a foot massage, some soup, and some reassurance. But I guess the good guy came through as he showed up but with an attitude. He gave me some cheesy one foot massage and proceeded to tell me that he couldn’t get me any soup because there were dishes in my sink. And if I were to clean the kitchen he would make me some soup. Now mind you, I was SICK and I had thrown up that day. So I was weak from lack of food, tired from the 10 hour day at work, and drained from the sickness that had invaded my body. So I got upset and surprise, I threw up again. The little bit that I had in my stomach. And the shear anger drove me to do the dishes and clean the sink where he said he was going home because of my attitude. Fine take your selfish ass home. In my anger I remember this small voice of reason, someone offered all the things that I wanted and would have given his right arm before my daughter would have went to my mother crying saying “He is being mean to me. He is being mean to my Mommy.”

Well He came back to my place with canned soup. Heated it up in the microwave and proceeded to spoon feed me. And after said “look what nice of a guy I am, I got you soup.” (Forget the soup. It wasn’t worth it) And the past two years of me being nice and caring and thoughtful, was shown to me just how much he appreciated it. If he really cared about me not only would the offer had been there, But he would have gotten some enjoyment from seeing a very independent woman needing some help. Which in turn only made me think back to the one that made the subtle offer with nothing needed in return but my friendship. Someone that did not go unnoticed but more disregarded. A innocent look at women with the inexperience to boot.

Before I knew it something happened to me. A light in the darkness. Almost as if he turned on the magnetic force to uncontrollably draw me to him. And before I knew it my friend became more. He is someone that has been caught at the perfect time to be shown something that most men strive there whole life to figure out for themselves. And that is how to please a woman, emotionally, physically, mentally, and of course sexually. And another big bonus he is eager to learn. I heard this saying and I understand it more as I get older:

Men love the women that they are attracted to.

Women are attracted to the men they love.

Funny how emotions can mimic alcohol. The more you look at someone the more beautiful they become. I will end this on an extremely happy note.

“May my beacon in the night guide me through the stormy waters. Keep me safe, and be my light where there is nothing but darkness. Yet the beacon would never be there if there was no boat.”

*Correction Notice*

Well it has come to my attention that people need more detail to my date the other night. As much as I don’t wish to reminisce on it, I guess to avoid further conversations on it I will go into more detail.

After driving around in circles, Running errands, and listening to multiple conversations and text messages, we were destined for a party. But he was waiting for a call back from the party organizer. So we were to wait as his brother’s house while the phone call came through. Meanwhile, I fixed his computer. Then he tried his moves. When I said this wasn’t going any further he then showed me how miraculous it was for him to achieve an erection. (Glad to know you are a healthy young male). Then when I persisted on the “NO” he then proceeded to rub on himself and tell me how much he would like to see his cum on my chest. I at that time decided that he needed his privacy and left. So I hope that clears it up for the people that don’t know me and the people that do. No I wish to no longer speak of that moment again.

Dating Madness

Well I had a date last night. This is someone I have known for about a year and a half. Typically woman on a first date like to be impressed. I am not talking about money wise but something new, something with meaning. Here is a list of things NOT to do on a first date.

1. Spend more time on your phone than with your date.
2. Take her some place you have taken other women and mention it.
3. Tell her she is “sexy, hot, or pretty” (Yes) How much you want to “tap it” (NO)
4. Have no real plans for the date and drive around aimlessly.
5. Try to have sex on the first date. (like that has never been tried before)
6. Proceed to masturbate in front of them and ask “can I cum on your chest”

It doesn’t take rocket science to please a woman but common sense helps. Now I know why I stayed in a relationship that was destructive.

Prison Break

On July 29, 2005 my gut wrenched as I called him, No answer. Yet I thought you went to bed early last night? I know you are a morning person it is almost 9 am. Hmm, I trust my gut lets see how far this goes.

So you finally decide to call me at 10:30. “I just left your house.” That was all I could think to say to see if my gut was right. Sure enough the voicemail was a reflection of a man that is guilty. The less they know what you know the more power you have.

Desperation: Call my best friend. “she is mad cause I didn’t get home until the morning.” Ohhhh.. (enlightenment) You were out all night. Well lets ignore him a bit longer. “How does she know I was out all night? Was she staked outside my apartment?” (Confirmation). No I will not call you. No I have nothing to say to you. Deposit what you owe me in the bank and mail me my stuff. Today is the day a year ago that I found out about the OTHER girl. Bad day for you, my love. GOOD BYE.

It started out as anger to not answer my phone. Yet not a single tear has left my eye. Now I just don’t feel like talking about it. I gave you 2 years of my life. I treated you good. I did all I could for you. All I ask is that you treat me right and don’t betray me again. OH WELL, so much for promises.

The funny thing is, I am not really all that upset. I am not depressed I am not sad. I feel Released. No more worrying. No more stress. No more insane thoughts. Freedom. As much as I love you, I know I can’t change you nor would I want to. But I can change how I am treated. I will not allow myself to be treated like this. If we are meant to be you will be back as a man that will value a good woman and would do anything not to hurt her.